In light of Hillary Clinton’s eagerly unanticipated announcement of something Super Big on Sunday, Americans of all discriminated flavors (and those damnable white males) should feel inspired to reach great heights in this woman‘s honor. Yours truly, CO2, was inspired to create a few haiku, or rather, Hillary-ku, to recognize the historic event that is almost upon us.
So without further obligatory introduction, here’s some light poetry reading for your perusement…
Hill busts glass ceilings,
Bill busts out the Cohibas…
For women’s rights, natch.
War is bad, people.
Iraq War Resolution?
Water under bridge.
A victim of the
Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy™—
vote for the martyr!
Look left, look down, look
right, look down, repeat…that’s not
suspicious at all.
P’chew! P’chew! Heroine
confounds the snipers, dodges
with ninja-like stealth.
Gaddafi? Oh, hah!
We came, we saw, he died. Woo!
Libya’s good now.
Pantsuit or muumuu?
To divorce or not divorce?
Hard choices, those are.
Dead broke, kid in school,
will speak for two hundred K,
mortgages to pay.
When giving Russians
novelty gifts, at least get
the translation right.
Smith, Woods, Doherty,
Stevens. YouTube video?
Planned attack? Whatev!!!
Seems odd to distance
yourself from the foundation
that bears your name, yes?
Give two hundred bucks,
get high-quality Clinton
campaign humidor.
Electric clouds roil,
swarm rushes in–shield the queen!
Darn that Trey Gowdy.
President Grandma…
They’ll milk it to the last drop.
Want four years of that?
S.S. man takes off
sunglasses, looks at servers,
then at his watch, sighs.
No no Hillary.
No no no no no no no
no no no. Just no.
I could go on, but I have Hillary’s Super Big Announcement Party e-vites to not prepare.
You should be inspired, too. Be inspired, plebeians!
