In his address to the nation this week, President Barack Obama tells us he is traveling to Alaska today for three days. He is using the trip as another opportunity to try to freak out Americans with proggy end-of-the-world scenarios, basically wanting us all to feel guilty for existing. He plans to meet “everyday Alaskans” while he’s there and expects to “learn a lot.”
Of course in order to travel to and around Alaska, Obama will have to exude mass quantities of carbon in the process. (Attaboy, Barry.) Yet he neglected to mention that part.
But remember the Eleventieth Commandment. Thou shalt not point out the flaws of thy reborn Savior, lest ye be deemed a racist. So put the brakes on that coal-powered choo-choo train of thought right now.
But before he’s gotten anywhere close to Alaska and the everydayers there, he says he’s already learned a thing: “One thing I’ve learned so far is that a lot of these conversations begin with climate change. And that’s because Alaskans are already living with its effects.”
Alaskans are already living with the effects of climate change. Which means they aren’t dying from the effects of climate change. Which means they are adapting to the effects of climate change. Just like science expects organisms to do when changes take place. Maybe we should start hoping for change because if humans can adapt to change, it proves the resiliency of our species and our value to the planet.
Or no. That sort of hopey-changey talk only works when it’s used for political slogans.
Next comes the part where we’re really supposed to start freaking out:
More frequent and extensive wildfires. Bigger storm surges as sea ice melts faster. Some of the swiftest shoreline erosion in the world – in some places, more than three feet a year.
Alaska’s glaciers are melting faster too, threatening tourism and adding to rising seas. And if we do nothing, Alaskan temperatures are projected to rise between six and twelve degrees by the end of the century, changing all sorts of industries forever.
This is all real. This is happening to our fellow Americans right now. In fact, Alaska’s governor recently told me that four villages are in “imminent danger” and have to be relocated. Already, rising sea levels are beginning to swallow one island community.
Think about that. If another country threatened to wipe out an American town, we’d do everything in our power to protect ourselves. Climate change poses the same threat, right now.
Erosions and fires and surges, oh my! Why aren’t the peons panicking yet?
“If we do nothing.”
I thought the world was ending because we were doing something. Now he doesn’t want us to do nothing. Okay. I’ll keep doing something.
Again, he has a problem with change. What’s so wrong about anthropogenic climate change-caused industry change?Innovation is good, isn’t it? Progressives now want certain things like industry to remain stagnant. Or does he mean only certain industries? That has to be it.
“This is all real.”
Is this real life? Sure. Wildfires happen. Always have.
Erosions? Happen. Happened. Will happen.
Glaciers melt, glaciers freeze. Storm surges flow, storm surges ebb.
The earth evolves. It never stays constant. It…changes.
People like Obama only seem to remember that Alaska is a real state when he can use the state to push an End Times scheme. Otherwise, it’s only mentioned by them as the place where that one broad comes from, the one who shoots puppies from helicopters and says she gets on the roof of her podunk cabin with a telescope to keep an eye on those Commies on the other side of the Bering Strait.
Because Obama cares, he plans to blow off his plans with the people of Alaska once he gets there so he can organize an end-of-the-world get-together with the foreign community.
That’s why one of the things I’ll do while I’m in Alaska is to convene other nations to meet this threat. Several Arctic nations have already committed to action. Since the United States and China worked together to set ambitious climate targets last year, leading by example, many of the world’s biggest emitters have come forward with new climate plans of their own. And that’s a good sign as we approach this December’s global climate negotiations in Paris.
Uh huh. Our deal with China to restrict its emissions is bound to work out just as well as our deal with Iran to restrict its nuclear arms capability.
And nations convening for “global climate negotiations” is as ridiculous and ineffectual as armies of ants gathering together for “giant descending foot negotiations.”
Yet we’re supposed to believe “this is all real.” If he says so.
Next, we’re told to expel our dirty, dirty feelings about power…
Now, one of the ways America is leading is by transitioning away from dirty energy sources that threaten our health and our environment, and by going all-in on clean, renewable energy sources like wind and solar. And Alaska has the natural resources to be a global leader in this effort.
How about we let the energy sector figure out how to make large-scale energy alternatives that are realistic and affordable instead of the government going “all-in” with Americans’ money and force-feeding laxatives on the unicorns? Having to play by the government’s rules holds back true progress in the field of renewable energy and leads to waste, as we’ve found out with Solyndra and the scores of other artichoke-green energy failures that have cost this country billions.
But hey, seeing as it’s other people’s money the government is spending, who cares if it’s spent responsibly or not. It’s not like the government is under threat of extinction or anything…unless we all DIE BY CLIMACTIC SUICIDE!
Obama then acknowledges with great reluctance that we have to keep thinking dirty for now. After all, it’s more affordable than going all clean right away.
Now even as we accelerate this transition, our economy still has to rely on oil and gas. As long as that’s the case, I believe we should rely more on domestic production than on foreign imports, and we should demand the highest safety standards in the industry – our own. Still, I know there are Americans who are concerned about oil companies drilling in environmentally sensitive waters. Some are also concerned with my administration’s decision to approve Shell’s application to drill a well off the Alaskan coast, using leases they purchased before I took office. I share people’s concerns about offshore drilling. I remember the BP spill in the Gulf of Mexico all too well.
Obama’s saying here that it’s not his fault that we still use fossil fuel. He wouldn’t have had to approve of such dirty, dirty things if Boosh hadn’t given in to Big Oil. At least he concedes that it’s better we depend more on ourselves than on other countries for our energy resources.
Then some yadda blah whatever on safety standards, as if anyone wants accidents or waste to happen in the process of drilling for oil.
However, the oil industry has taken issue with the government’s existing and proposed mandates, including one proposal that would make oil companies have to set up accommodations to provide some sort of relief well for all offshore Arctic drilling projects. This requirement could remove over a month from the limited window of opportunity that workers have to drill each year before they’re forced to shut their rigs down for the winter months because of…encroaching sea ice.
Go fig.
Oil companies argue that each drilling location has a different set of circumstances and that a relief well isn’t necessarily the best safety solution in every case. They feel they should instead be able to apply other types of safety methods and technology that they have and continue to develop, which would depend on the situation. The regulation would make drilling more expensive for the industry, and it could make the effort not worth it to them at all, they say.
But this administration will side with the Arctic-chokes before it would side with the oil companies, so the industry’s hopes may not work out so well.
Obama closes this week’s address by hoping to work together with Alaskans “to make America the global leader on climate change around the globe.”
That was a quick about-face. Lead on changing the climate? Awesome!
The Prez then plugs the White House website’s video on Alaska. It probably shows some glossy time-lapse video of pretty, frozen landscapes with commentary that turns ominous, I’m guessing. But I wouldn’t know, since I didn’t watch it.
Funded with your tax dollars, don’t forget.
“Because what’s happening in Alaska is happening to us. It’s our wakeup call,” he says.
*Ring, ring!* Hello, America? Good morning. Alaska is melting. And so are you. Goodbye. *click*
“And as long as I’m President, America will lead the world to meet the threat of climate change before it’s too late.”
Meet the threat…before it’s too late? So much for leading on climate change.
“Thanks, and have a great weekend.”
How am I supposed to have a great weekend now? I’m scared to death! Thanks, Obama!
So the moral of today’s story is that change is good except when it’s bad. But the same stupid refrain about bad change is good. Therefore, the same is good. Except when it’s not.
Think about that.
